An Insight on Motherhood

This Sunday, May 9th is Mother’s Day. Since Mother’s Day is only a few days away, I wanted to showcase Mothers and Motherhood on the blog. I turned to no one other than the two special mother figures in my life, my Mom (Linde) and Matt’s Mom (Patty).

I asked Linde and Patty several questions about Motherhood in general. For reference: (Q) – for question, (L) – for Linde and (P) – for Patty. Let’s dive in….

Q: How did you meet Dad and how did you know he was the one?

L: Dad and I were high school sweet hearts. The two of us had mutual friends and as I started to get to know him I enjoyed how comfortable I felt around him, he was friendly, had a great smile and an easy going and calm demeanor. He always gave great hugs!

P: I meet dad in 1976 when we were students at Union High School.  I was in 10^th grade and he was in 11^th. We dated all through HS and continued dating on and off while at college.  Those times we took a break from one another, something just wasn’t right, and we always managed to find our way back to one another.  I’m sure it is different in every relationship but when you know, you just know! We will be celebrating 39 years of marriage in July and he still makes me laugh every single day.

Q: What was the biggest change for you when you became a Mom?

L: The biggest change for me was knowing the huge responsibility I was taking on for the rest of my life. Seeing and knowing how my infant child relied on me for everything was often frightening and I wanted to make sure I never let anyone of my children down, I always wanted to be right there for them. Timing was always off, but we got it together, I laugh when I see the memes of moms running out the door, arms full and yelling kids get in the car – those days happened often :).

P: I couldn’t wait to become a mother.  We waited 5 years after marriage so the biggest transition was going from working outside of the home, getting dressed up every day, and the socialization that comes with walking into an office, to being a stay at home mom. I think it is so important to find friends who are sharing the same experience, talk about the highs and lows, and try to get out of the house every single day, even if it’s just a walk with the baby.

Q: Can you think about your proudest moment being a Mom?

L: My proudest moment was each and every time my kids smiled, laughed and felt good. Seeing each one of my kids happy, feeling good, living the moment and loving life meant their life was good and I was there to see it and enjoy it with them.

P: Honestly, there isn’t just one.  I can think of hundreds for all three of my boys, but it’s usually when they have accomplished something that they worked really hard for. Seeing how proud they are of themselves makes me proud! More recently, it is seeing Matt with Archie. My heart just wants to explode seeing how much he loves Archie and the father he has become.

Q: Your fondest memory of Matt or I?

L:  My fondest memory of Matt and you was first your engagement, the moments after, the love the happiness, the glow in your faces and the smiles. It was magical and a memory that I still feel today. The second is definitely the two of you looking at each other on your wedding day exchanging your vows. The moment the two of you turned to walk out of the ceremony was very special also. So happy, so much love.

P: Since the day Matt could walk he had a ball in his hands.  It didn’t matter what kind. It could be a football, a baseball, soccer, tennis, just any ball would do.  I would wait until 7:00 am, open the back door and send him outside.  The neighbors would tell me they knew what time it was by the thumping of the basketball in the driveway! I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard “Catch Mom!”

Q: What was something you liked about the way you were raised that you wanted to do for your children?

L: Growing up I enjoyed that my parents let me visit their family in Germany. Giving me the opportunity to spend summer months in Germany introduced me to their past, meeting my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, learning about their cultures and traditions was amazing. The experiences of spending time in their small towns, being a part of farming communities, riding on a tractor, picking up fresh made breads, carrying fresh milk each night to the dairy, walking to my grandmother’s vineyards to pick raspberries and other fruits, going to a butcher, shopping at the grocery store with a basket (no plastic or paper bags), learning the language, and adapting to so many other customs was a treasure.  My time spent with family became an important part of me growing up and has lasted to this day. Knowing family and having those connections over so many decades is very special and unique.

P: My mother and father were truly the best parents a kid could want.  My Dad was always so happy and my Mother was kind. I loved that there was no pressure to be “the best.” They just wanted what was best for me.  They were strict but in a loving way and I wanted to raise my children the same way. Even when I disappointed them, I always knew I was loved, and I always wanted my children to feel that too.

Q: If you could go back in time to one moment, what would it be?

L: My wedding day, I would want to cherish more moments with your Dad and I; to be able to focus more on us and our moment. Past traditions often placed pressure on the bride and groom to see all their guests and participate in required photo ops or wedding games, by the time we fulfilled what we were expected to do, there was little time for us.  The enjoyment Matt and you had throughout the ceremony and reception created so many beautiful memories.

P: I liked different stages of motherhood with each of my children, but my favorite would have to be the last feeding before putting them to sleep as infants and the way they would stare up at my face. I love when I get the opportunity now with my grandson, Archie. 

Q: What advice would you give yourself at a younger age?

L: My advice at younger age, would be to pause and really take in the moment. Laugh more, make it a point to try adventures, travel, travel, travel.

P: Stop worrying! As a mother, I lost so much sleep worrying about insignificant issues. They are who they are! Have faith and trust in God.

Q: If you had to go back, would you do anything differently?

L: If I had to go back I would take more pictures, set aside more family time during the year and go away, not wait till Summer each year.

P:  I wouldn’t.  Don’t get me wrong, I was far from a perfect mother (is there such a thing??), but I love the way each of my boys turned out, imperfections and all. 

Mother knows best. Even though sometime’s I have not followed my Mom’s advice (hehe sorry Mom), the saying is true. She’s helped guide me through life and all of life’s problems all while keeping it cool under pressure. These two women have been role models for me and have given me guidance, especially now that I am a Mom myself.

Women tend to throw a lot on their plate. Meeting deadlines at work, making a house a home, the tasks are endless WITHOUT a child. Add children in the mix and it’s a whole new ball game. Let’s give a round of applause to the Moms this week – they deserve it!