November 3rd marked Matt and I’s three year wedding anniversary. It’s crazy to think (like I know many couples do) that it’s already been three years. With every anniversary, comes reflection for us. We like looking back on the previous year and looking forward to the year ahead. It got me thinking, Matt has NEVER been on the blog before. For several reasons – number one being, he’s just not a social media/internet person. Find him on Rutgers Hoops Facebook page and that’s about it. He has one other app on his phone and that’s ESPN. He doesn’t know how to work the printer and before he met me, he didn’t know what WIFI was or who Kim Kardashian was.
This blog and internet stuff is also what I do to keep busy while he’s putting in those long hours at work and typically when he comes home, I power down. With all that being said, if you know Matt, you know he’s always up for a challenge. One day after work, I mentioned a relationship Q + A. My followers would ask the questions and we would answer. He was so down!
I recorded our interview and answers below. J will be my answers and M will obviously be Matt’s answers. I left nothing out and it’s not just rainbows and sunshine. These are our real, honest answers :).
How Matt and I met (this question was actually not asked, but I figured we should answer!).
J: Matt and I met at Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia, PA. You were coming up to get a consent signed, but you were going the total wrong way. You had just started residency. You had a goofy smile and your scrub cap was sort of shifted to the side which made me laugh and I haven’t stopped laughing since. Is that correct?
M: Yes, that’s correct.
J: Once we got to talking, we realized we went to the same college and knew a few of the same people. And was it love at first sight?!
M: Sure it was, we went to the same school.
J: AND THAT’S WHY?!
M: Yea, but we didn’t start dating till three months after that. Can we get to the pet peeve question?
How do we find time for each other especially with your busy work schedule?
M: When I’m home we make sure to sit down and have dinner with each other.
J: When you’re home we do that, yes. I would actually say it’s easier for us. Since we don’t have an infinite amount of time, we’re more intentional with our time. Right?
M: Oh I agree with that.
J: You know you’re going to be home early on a Tuesday. So, we’ll watch a movie or a t.v. show and I’ll actually write that in my calendar.
M: We make plans in advance, like broadway plays. We plan our vacations and that gives us something to look forward to.
J: We get your undivided attention on vacation and family time on weekends when you’re off.
How has our life changed after Archie?
M: Everything changed. Our life is not about us anymore, it’s not like I can come home from work and say hey let’s go get dinner. Our whole plan revolves around Archie’s schedule. Any date that we go on, Archie is third wheeling throwing food on the floor.
J: Has to be planned…
M: Or it has to be planned well in advance, but we both wouldn’t change that.
J: No, I wouldn’t change our life with Archie. I always say though, it’s ok to love the life you’re living yet simultaneously miss your old life sometimes.
M: No, our life has changed for the better.
A pro and a pet peeve for each other?
M: My pro for you, is that you’re a great mother. I can go to work everyday and I can trust everything will be ok at home.
J: Appreciate that.
M: My pet peeve is that you don’t like my obsession with my sports teams and when I go to my sports games.
J: Well, sometimes it’s just hard when you’re gone all week and Saturday morning you wake up and leave again.
M: To my defense, there’s 53 weeks in a year and only about 6 home games so that’s 6 Saturdays. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that much.
J: Well, in the grand scheme of things, I don’t really get mad at you that often.
M: Exactly.
J: Ok do you want to know mine?
M: Yes, I do.
J: So, I’ll start with the pet peeve and end on a good note…
M: Yes, please, I should have done the same.
J: So, my pet peeve would be you’re messy.
M: Ok.
J: And I create things in the house to prevent our house from getting messy…like, putting your shoes in a basket by the door or wallet and keys in a dish on the countertop when you first walk in and instead of putting your wallet and keys in the dish, you put them on the countertop next to the dish. And instead of putting your shoes in the basket you put them next to the basket.
M: Yes, that’s true I do do that. In my profession I have to be type A and organized and that’s a part of not bringing work home with me. But a part of it is that I like to turn off from work when I walk in the door and be a little less control freak-y. But I can do that.
**here marks relationship epiphany (for both of us).
J: My pro would be, you give your all to everything you love. No matter what it is, your work, your sports, your family. If it’s something you love, you give your 110% to that and I really appreciate that. You’re very passionate and a driven, hard working person. That’s a good one for you.
What are our favorite shows/Netflix shows?
M: Well..
J: You watched half of the movie lovehard on Netflix. You have to watch the whole thing, but I think you liked it.
M: I mean it’s like a Hallmark movie I’ve seen them all.
J: You love Hallmark movies.
M: I do. Yea I would watch it. It had an ending that I enjoyed.
J: Big Sky?
M: Big Sky…the Bachelor, but I think we’ve kinda grew out of that.
J: Oh, yea we did. It’s too long it’s like watching a movie every Monday night.
M: I enjoyed squid games, but you won’t watch that.
J: I can’t do squid games. Riverdale?!
M: Riverdale was pretty good. We watched Impeachment. We like the FX crime series.
J: We like the Dateline episodes, 20/20, Forensic Files. Forensic Files was probably our OG show before Netflix was even around. We would always try to solve the crime before the show ended. Tiger King! It was weird, but we were big on Tiger King.
M: Things just come up every once in a while and we’ll watch.
How have we changed for the better since we’ve met?
M: For me, I’ve mellowed out a lot. I don’t get so upset when my sports teams lose anymore. It makes me upset, but in the grand scheme of things it’s meaningless. I don’t carry it with me. I’ve become more thoughtful, too.
J: I think a lot of that came with Archie too. You want to be a good role model for Archie.
M: That’s true. That’s a good point. Ever since I’ve met you, you’ve filled that empty piece that was missing. No matter what happens the day is good because I have my family.
J: Aww, that’s a good one.
M: HAHA, next.
J: Wait, I have to answer!
M: Oh yea.
J: I would say, I’m less regimented. Before I met you, I had to do things at a certain time. I think with your schedule, you know, you kinda just have to roll with things sometimes. I think it’s made me a bit more easy going. If you’re working, you can’t just say dinner is going to be at 7, it could be earlier, could be later, you just never know when you’re going to get out of work.
How do you feel about the blog/me sharing more of my life online?
M: I didn’t know exactly what it was at first, but I knew you needed something, some sort of outlet. I was indifferent at first, I guess. I love it, I just want you to do something that makes you happy. Sometimes I still don’t really know what you’re doing though.
Favorite Vacation?
M: Definitely, Giants game in London.
J: THAT was a really fun one. Paris/London. San Diego!! Oh that was so fun. London was just fun because it’s a fun city. And you were able to incorporate a little of you in there. Whenever we go on trips, we like to add just a litttlleee bit of history. A museum or something. We both enjoyed Versailles.
M: Yea we went to Harold’s.
J: “Harrods.”
M: Went to see a show…We like a sightseeing tour bus. My ideal vacation give me beach and that’s it.
Best advice to get over an argument?
M: I just go downstairs.
J: we have a VERY unpopular opinion when it comes to getting over an argument. They always say “don’t go to bed angry at each other,” but sometimes I feel like you have to. I’m very emotional, initially.
M: We just walk away for a bit.
J: And then when we reconvene later it’s better. When there’s less emotion to it. We can just sit with it, hash it out a bit.
M: I don’t care to admit fault as long as you just get over the sassy pants. So I usually say I’m sorry.
J: But I only hold a grudge in the very beginning. And then once I scale back from it and get a little more level headed about it and then we have a conversation and we always wind up figuring it out.
M: Just takes you a little longer
What is your love language?
M: Words of Affirmation
J: Right so I have to say things like “good job, “you’re doing great.”
M: hahaha yours is acts of service.
J: Maybe this is something we can focus more on.
M: I think that’s a good idea.
J: Alright, complete.
M: That was a good one.
There you have it folks! I’m glad we did this one. Communication is key in any relationship. Actually sitting down and answering these questions was great for us. It really showed what we can work on and where we can do better. It was also fun looking back on our highlights, our trips and our positives. Maybe if you can find the time, sit down with your significant other and answer these questions as well. Save it as a voice memo on your phone and you’ll always have it to look back on and listen to.
Leaving you with a little video I made for Matt on Instagram last week and in Matt’s words: “year 4…LET’S GO.”